A Means To An End
Closing a chapter is never easy. When you struggle for years with a problem and it is suddenly over, there is a certain struggle you have internally no matter the benefit or resolution. This is what I am struggling with currently. On Wednesday, October 19, 7 years and one month to the minute that I was injured at work, my case was closed with a settlement agreement that benefited both sides. I feel like I am walking through the stages of grief as I struggle to grasp that this huge part of my world is now over. They own my ankle until I die but I am the one who has a life-long struggle ahead of me. I will never really walk normal again, I have a brace I need to wear anytime I walk, and I will never be able walk Disney or go to a concert without a wheelchair or power scooter. But it is over now and I will find my groove once again.
My focus remains on school, Furious, and my girls. As long as I keep things in perspective, I will be okay as I always am. I am no stranger to struggling and being victorious somehow. To me, it is the human will to survive and a woman’s determination to overcome. As long as I keep my drive and my will to survive, I will be okay and I have a tremendous support system (Lookin at you, Grif!). Th people who believe in and need me are the ones who I fight for. My girls, my parents, Tiff, Grifter, even X who lives in Philly but I consider to be one of my besties because she rocks!, to name just a few who are there when I need with no questions ask and who I will eternally fight for and support. I keep my circle small for a reason and those I let close, for the most part, never disappoint me.
So the new story has begun. As much as I am struggling with the decision, I feel liberated and relief. I can step forward and move on without this hanging over me. Despite that this is only one aspect of my fight, I think I can safely say, “I’ve got this!”. On Monday, speaking of which, I begin part two of this class that I honestly did not think I would get through. But I did. With an A. I guess I am starting to believe in myself more and more. Weight-loss, the end of a court battle, school, helping to lead Furious towards a new path….I am pretty awesome. My flaws make me a unique being.
So here we are. How was your week? Are you ready for the new week to begin? No matter how good, bad, or indifferent you are; I believe in you. You’ve got this!
Music Madness: I am stuck on Shinedown – It All Adds Up and Krizz Kaliko – Talk Up On It till. What are you listening to this week?
Kitchen Kauldron: I am hooked on making my own tortilla chips. It is so easy to do and cheaper than buying a bag of processed bs with too much salt. This week, I found a recipe for homemade chili cheese fritos and I cannot wait to try them! I will let you know how they come out but they are fairly simple!
Coffee Chaos: Those who know me, know I am obsessed with ice coffee. Lately I am experimenting with making a heath bar ice coffee that rivals Dunkins. I like the Heath Bar creamer you can buy, but I am determined to make one from scratch. To date, my favorite is still the chocolate pudding iced. It took a bit to not make the pudding mix thicken, but I got it and it tastes divine.
Weekly WTF: What happened to people using their directionals when driving? Is it really this difficult? Asshole!
Until next time….be good or be good at it!