Bday fun and Love each other!
“I’m peeling the skin off my face
‘Cause I really hate being safe
The normals, they make me afraid
The crazies, they make me feel sane” Melanie Martinez
I haven’t slept normal since Wednesday. Not that I ever sleep normal. Lately it is worse. I did go on air Thursday but I apologize for being away from the blog. Things have been super chaotic and dismal here. Without going into too much, I figured this week would be random as always and I would try to not be sad for a bit.
I seem to be putting on a faux smile lately and it seems to be working. However, with the negative does come some positives. Happy 10th Birthday to my amazing, crazy, wicked, sassy, diva Bean! She was a miracle baby and after being told I would never have another child, she came as a shock and I could not be happier or prouder of my daughter. Among planning a funeral and being with family, she reminds me every day of how incredible life is and I am ever so grateful she chose me to be her mother. We celebrated Sunday, even though her bday is on July 6th, and friends and family came to wish her an amazing year. Double Digits!!!! If only she knew how much I love her.
Her bday was Paris themed. She wants so badly to go to Paris someday. I love that she has such incredible goals. We had French macarons, croissants with chicken salad homemade by my incredible mom, French baguettes with ham and cheese, French meatballs in a homemade gravy, and other French themed foods. My aunt brought her homemade baked beans, however. While we did not end up having a fire and smores, we all had a great day and it was nice to lose ourselves in the happiness rather than dwell on things.
This week is a rough one and while I have no problem sharing what happened, I won’t. It is said that I am depressing and angry…. but I want to talk about one thing….
Please tell people you love them. Make sure they know by actions and not just words. Be there for people and make time. Don’t make excuses. Suicide is unpredictable and can strike at any moment. Some people say there are signs, but sometimes those signs are not obvious. If the person has a plan they will do it regardless. But help is available. Whether professional or just a friend, reach out and know there is no shame in mental illness. It is part of why I fight so hard to study psychology. I never want anyone to feel that they have no options. I also want you to know if you need someone, I am always here. Contact me on Furious Radio or firstname.lastname@example.org. Find me on Facebook or Twitter and message me. I have no problem messaging you my number if it means listening and taking the burden off of you. I am here for anyone who needs to talk, anytime at all. Just reach out.
With respect to everything going on this week, I think I will end the blog there for the week. To be honest, I really haven’t been around to cook as my time has been spent with family and preparing for Saturday. Saying goodbye to a loved one is rough.
I will be back to normal soon, however! Have no fear, I will get through this. Thank you to everyone for the well wishes and thoughts. I appreciate the support more than you will ever know.
BIG SHOUT OUT: Grifter…thank you for calling and checking on me. I <3 you. Also to Loppy and CJ for coming in chat with me on Thursday despite being exhausted yourselves. I needed that distraction. To Ray, thanks for making time to see me a bunch this last week! Finally, thank you X for Snapchat fun and the call. I love you girl!
Be good or be good at it guys!