Turkey Day and Missing Him
Another holiday. Another day to deal with family, stress, and the like.
I wouldn’t really celebrate much today. But this day is for my kids now and I hide my hell deep inside, smile, and pretend I am ok.
My uncle was only 7 years older than me and from the day I was born, he was the closest to me. He knew my secrets, he knew my singing, he knew my passion for music. I still remember him introducing me to Guns N Roses. He loved the Use Your Illusion cassettes. I remember watching one of the videos on MtV with him. He loved all kinds of music, especially rock. It is where I found my love for it. My passion.
My uncle passed away November 23. I know the exact time, the exact place, and exactly when a piece of me went with him. I could feel it. I remember that morning and police at my house. I remember the chaos and trying to wrap my head around it all. Even now, I still can’t. And what’s worse, that memory lives with all of us. As hard as I try to have a good Thanksgiving with my family. It is always tense and sad, and it doesn’t matter what I do. I miss him. With all of my being. He was the closest thing I had to a brother. He was my world. And then he was gone. I still have never listened to Guns N Roses November Rain because of his death. He was 21, it was raining that night in November, and they were his favorite.
I am thankful for my girls. I am thankful for Furious giving me an outlet to play music, write to all of you, and to my Furious Family I am thankful for you too.
I wish I had more for you all. Things have been crazy as I try to work my way out of the rut I have been in. I still don’t have my phones on but at least I can still get online. I wish I could post all these amazing trips and being out with friends like the Philly blog. But sadly, my life isn’t like that so instead, I bare my soul to you all. Sad, mad, happy, whatever. And I am thankful for you all listening.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving for those who celebrate.
Press Play – I am so addicted to Slaves and Issues. Their music is amazing. Emarosa and Stealing Eden are also in there.
Popcorn Worthy – I have been watching SoA again…mmm Jax
Weekly WTF – That turkey pardon is dumb. WTF
Skool Daze – New class and one step closer!!!!
Coffee Chaos – To jazz up my iced coffee I put in some ice cream to sweeten it. This week was chocolate marshmallow! Yummy!
I WILL BE ON AIR TONIGHT! 10 PM EASTERN!!!!
Be good everyone…or be good at it!